Thursday, January 5, 2012

Me and Booze Have Broken Up

I don't think I'm an addict.  I must admit though, that my relationship with alcohol has been unhealthy for some time. 

I've given it up before--after a suicide attempt in my teens, I didn't touch the stuff but for special occasions (like turning 21...and even then I only had one Margarita) until well into my thirties.  It was then that I discovered I liked wine, and the fact I could get a 'buzz' without getting hammered--something I was incapable of in high school. Unfortunately though....slowly but surely, the slippery slope effect has taken it's toll.  It's hard to face when a 'friendship' has turned into something more...something obsessive, needy, and generally unattractive.  But it's satisfying once you finally can see it; knowing it's not what you want anymore. 

I'm happy to say to alcohol, "I don't love you anymore"...but I'll confess, I'd like to remain friends.  It is possible--there are many who keep this relationship on platonic terms.  Addicts can't though, so I guess time will tell if I'm being unrealistic about my 'non'-alcoholic status.  But last night was a good sign; we went to a friend's and I sipped wine with dinner without getting even the slightest buzz...and I didn't miss it.  It felt a lot like getting over the crazy crush I had on a boy in 9th grade (because he looked like Joe Elliott from 'Def Leppard') when it finally dawned on me that he wasn't that hot.

Getting drunk (or even heavily buzzed) every weekend is not hot--it's not even cute.  So, I'm over you booze.  Thank God.