Living in the Kingdom of God (part 1)

Hannah Hurnard, author of Hinds Feet on High Places, is one of my very favorite writers.  A former darling of the Christian community, she was somewhat quietly swept under the rug when it was discovered that she believed that God would save everyone eventually.  "High Places to Heresy" is the type of heading you'll find if you google her nowadays, and the book often referred to as poof she changed from orthodox to "gnostic and even occultic" beliefs later in life is The Inner Man.  (quote from Internet site: "In The Inner Man Hannah weaves together her new age teachings and Scripture with such beguiling skill that she, without debate, proves herself to be a sorceress of the first order. The witch at Endor did not display a fraction of Hannah’s spiritual treachery...How unfortunate that so many Christians are embracing Hannah’s "holiness through suffering" message and are deserting the unique Gospel of complete and free salvation.")  So, if this book made Christians so mad, of course I had to buy it!  I wanted to see for myself if Hannah believed people became animal spirits and other strange things that were claimed that this book taught.


My biggest shock when getting the book (out of print and difficult to buy, but I finally found it) was it was published in 1955.  (same year Hinds Feet was written)  So, any occultic beliefs expressed in this book were the same beliefs she had when she wrote her completely well received and beloved Hinds Feet on High Places.  Not so shockingly, I found nothing in the book offensive in anyway, but deeply spiritual and insightful. (and understandingly frightening for anyone who is uncomfortable thinking about the spiritual realm)  Now that I felt secure that Hannah didn't turn into a witch later in life, I bought several of her "off limits" books.  The one I will be quoting from here is Walking Among the Unseen, from the chapter "How to Live in the Kingdom of God". (a study of the beatitudes, Matthew 5:3-29)


1)"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven"
To be poor in spirit is to stop ruling ourselves and submit to Jesus.  The poor in spirit humble themselves, considering all they posses to be God's, trusting him to care for all their needs.  This is a life of dependence on God; a life of faith.


2) "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted"
It is in times of sorrow and suffering when we call on the Comforter and draw nearer to God.  If we react to difficult situations with trust in God, they are turned into blessings. (trouble teaches us endurance which will bring maturity...James 1:4)  This is the cup of suffering Jesus gladly drank, but if we react to the cup with bitter resentment (the earthly and not heavenly reaction) it poisons the cup and makes it almost impossible to drink.


3) "Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth"
Meek= mild, gentle, kind, forbearing.  The heavenly way of dealing with evildoers who wrong us is "resist not evil (with force) but whosoever shall smite thee on they right cheek, turn to him the other also."  It is not a principle which allows evildoers to get away with their ill-gotten gains, but rather of gentle and wise understanding of why they so acted, and willingness to give the right kind of help to them in their need, even if it means loss to ourselves.  And this wisdom and power to help them can only come by practicing meekness. (or humility)


Because this is getting a bit long, I'll finish up the rest of them in my next post.

Dying to Live

S) But we ourselves have had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we may not be trusting on ourselves, but on God, who is raising the dead, who did deliver us out of so great a death, and does deliver, in whom we have hoped that even yet He will deliver. (2 Corn. 1:9-10)
O) There sure is a lot of raising out of death in these verses.  It seems to me that being brought to life is a process, but it must happen through death.  Obviously Paul means this in more than a physical way.
A) Trusting God and not yourself...this is so hard when you feel "the sentence of death in yourself", and you want so desperately to have life, but just don't know how to get it.  But God has, and does, and will deliver me. I must hang onto hope and take one day at a time.
P) I hate feeling so tired and 'over it'.  Maybe this is part of my dying to self, and if it is, then I'm thankful.  Please raise me to life!  Show me how to really live.


I really think death and life are something very different in God's eyes than in ours.  We see it only in the physical realm, but it seems something different is going on in the spiritual realm.  Jesus eludes to this a lot.  In my last post, I quoted a verse where he says, "But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you,  ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.”  It seems to me he's saying "If you think Isaac and Jacob need to be brought back to life...well, they are already alive".  He says a few other strange things...like when a follower said they needed to bury their father, and Jesus replied "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead".  And of course there's the statement that you have to be born again to enter God's kingdom..."Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again."  And once again, we have focused only on entering God's kingdom as going to heaven when we die, but how can that be what Jesus was talking about when he says, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you." (and how is this possible when Jesus hasn't even died yet, so they can be forgiven?)  A couple more verses about death and life:


1) Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above...For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. (Col. 3:1) 
2) But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,  made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.  And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,  in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—  not by works, so that no one can boast.


I want to look at these verses with fresh eyes, and they just make so much more sense when your not reading them with the 'heaven and hell' lens we so often read all scripture with.  God made us alive...did we choose this?  Did we choose to be born in the flesh?  Maybe we don't choose to be born in the spirit either...maybe God does the choosing.  God gave us FAITH as a gift--what a concept.  How can we look down on anyone?  We can't, and we shouldn't...no one can boast.  In the coming ages, everyone will see just how kind and good and wonderful our God is.  We can stop worrying, and just enter His Kingdom.  I want so much to live there...TODAY, and forever.

Scripture and The Church

I was thinking of going through all the proof texts used to condemn homosexuality and show why maybe they don't...but it's been done so many times, I don't see the point.  Here is an article that I think does a better job than I ever will: http://www.gaychristian.net/justins_view.php


The problem is, no matter how good the arguments, many Christians simply cannot change their view, because it would compromise their faith.  When it comes down to it, they simply cannot believe that the Church has taught something incorrectly for this long...I mean, how could God allow that?  Of course, this applies to the belief in an eternal hell as well. (I do want to note that from A.D. 170 to 430, there were six Christian schools...of these, four taught the restitution of all things, and only one taught endless punishment)  But consider the religious leaders of Jesus day--they studied their scriptures very intently, and prided themselves so much in doing so.  And even still, they couldn't agree on what the writings really meant. (just like today) Remember the story of them trying to trap Jesus by asking him a difficult question about what brother would be married to a wife after they died, since they had all been her husband at one time? 


That same day the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. “Teacher,” they said, “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him.  Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother.  The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh.  Finally, the woman died.  Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?”
 Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God.  At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.  But about the resurrection of the dead—have you not read what God said to you,  ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not the God of the dead but of the living.”


I want to point out that this argument is not over who's going to be married to her in heaven, but who will be married to her after the resurrection.  I think this is the biggest mistake we've made in looking at scriptures--thinking the whole point is 'where will we spend eternity when we die--heaven or hell'.  But if you look closely at the writings of Paul, you will see that the hope he has is for the resurrection from the dead. (in the coming age)  Some Jews believed in this resurrection, some did not.  And notice Jesus' reply to these men who had studied scriptures probably their whole life and knew them forwards and backwards (and had authority over others in teaching what they meant)..."You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God".  How can any of us be sure we understand the Scriptures or the power of God?  If your putting all your faith in how things have been understood so far, and that the church would never make a mistake about scripture, I think you need to take a closer look at church history.  Remember that the church at one time taught that babies not baptized before death would go to hell, that the world was flat (there is a scripture that talks about the four corners of the earth...how can the Bible be wrong?) and that the sun rotated around the earth. (again, scripture confirmed this to them, and anyone that argued differently was in big trouble--because they were denying the authority of scripture)  The church was also the biggest defender for slavery...because clearly the Bible condoned it.  But even with all this evidence against the church NOT always getting it right, still people need to put their faith in the church leaders guiding them instead of in the Holy Spirit.   And if you think all church leaders are listening to the Spirit concerning these two issues because they are "staying true" to the Bible, I would have only one question for them..."Have you even considered the possibility that you are wrong, and if so, have you prayed that the Holy Spirit show you if you are?"


 P.S.  I'm so glad I have no authority to tell you what to believe.  I am an absolute nobody in that regard...I'm certainly no Apostle Paul.  But look what he has to say about his 'authority'..."We are not bosses who tell you what to believe. We are working with you to make you glad, because your faith is strong." (2 Corn.1:24 )  If you are waiting for the church leaders to reveal truth to you, because you think men in power are the first to hear from God--read what Jesus has to say about that: 
Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.  Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do. (Matt. 11:25-26)  And just one more thing...who were the first ones to see Jesus after his resurrection?  And did his disciples listen to them, or think they were just hysterical women?

The Lazarus Parable

Most Christians are familiar with the Lazarus parable.  It's one of the 'proofs' for an eternal hell.  For those who are unfamiliar, it's a story Jesus told about a rich man and a poor man that die...the rich man goes to hell, the poor man to heaven.  The fact it's a parable doesn't seem to stop most people from saying it's proof that hell lasts forever, simply because Jesus states there is a "great gulf" between them.  For a very in depth explanation of the parable go to http://www.tentmaker.org/articles/Lazarus-byHuie.htm  (I can't say I completely agree or even understand the whole thing--but it's quite expansive and will make you think)


When I first came to believe that hell is not eternal, I heard a sermon at church about this parable.  My pastor explained how Jesus spoke this parable to the religious leaders of his day, because they were complaining about Jesus hanging around sinners all the time.  He explained how the Gentiles (who Lazarus most likely represented in this story) were looked down on by the Jews as "unclean dogs".  After that sermon I wrote a sermon of my own, because everything about how I saw this parable changed drastically from how I saw it as a child.  So here it is...(written four years ago, just for myself) I find it ironic that I wrote this before I knew my daughter was gay.


(Begin with parable...I don't want to cut and paste the whole thing, you'll have to look it up if you don't know it.  It's found in the 16th chapter of Luke)


What are the main points most Christian's learned from this story when growing up.  I know what I learned:
1) Once your in hell, you'll never get out.
2) Hell is hot, therefore torture.  It's purpose is only to inflict pain for all eternity.
3) The people in heaven look down on the people in hell with disdain, because they were too stupid or evil to understand what they were choosing when they were alive.  If they didn't get the message of the gospel, it's their own fault and we shouldn't feel bad for them.
All this equals=NON COMPASSION




But the points Jesus are making seem to be:
1)You can't count on your religion to save you from hell.  Love for God should equal love for people.
2) We are going to be accountable if we do not show mercy to the suffering.
3) God wants to comfort those who are mistreated and looked down on in this lifetime.
All this equals=COMPASSION


Why was the message we got growing up so far removed from what Jesus was actually teaching? Maybe it's because:
1)  Just like the Pharisees, we want a "formula" that gets us favor with God and a ticket to heaven.  For us, it's "accept Jesus".  But if "accepting Jesus" does not equal loving God and loving others, then it really isn't anything else but a free ticket to heaven.  Was a free ticket really the point of the cross?
2) Just like the Pharisees, once we know we have the ticket and others don't (they were 'offered' one and rejected it...so why feel bad?) we have license to look down on them.
3) Just like the Pharisees, we do not feel we are required to show compassion on those God will ultimately reject. 


What if Jesus came today?  How would he update this parable?...


"There was a wealthy Christian preacher who had great influence in his community.  He loved to preach on how displeased God is with the people of this world, and how different and set a part Christians need to be by not watching R rated movies or smoking or drinking, like the unbelievers do. Next to the church was a really run down trailer park where a gay man lived who was dying of AIDS. This was a very religious town (thanks to the preacher) so the gay man was a complete outcast and had no friends. He wanted to go to church, but he knew he would not be accepted there. When it was discovered he was so sick he could not even go out to get food, the preacher decided to do a sermon... 'The world, with all it's high talking, gay loving liberals would want us to hurry to this man's side to help him. But we cannot! This is just one step closer to the church accepting that homosexuality is OK! If God has given him AIDS, then that is the punishment he deserves.' So, the gay man died a very painful and lonely death. The preacher was so proud of nurturing such a pious community, and he was sure God was pleased with him...but when he died, not only did he find the gay man being comforted by God, he found he had to go to hell to be punished for his self righteousness and lack of compassion."


What if a man came today and said he was from God and preached this message? How many people would say he was from the devil? (which is what the Pharisees said about Jesus) If he started a church where gays were accepted as they are, how many Christians would look on it with contempt? If he kept saying that Christians were bad and needed God's discipline, how many would think he deserved to die? It's easy for us to judge the Pharisees, but let's think about their situation. They were already told how to get to heaven. Obey the Torah. This came from their Holy scriptures...there was no new testament. Jesus was teaching things that contradicted everything they had been taught since childhood. And he was saying they were in danger of hell--God's own chosen! What if the Holy Spirit wants to tell us--the church--that we have become Pharisees? Are we in danger of hell? Do you think there is any chance the information we got growing up:


1) once your in hell, you cannot get out
2) hell's only purpose is torture
3) we will not have compassion for those in hell...
                                                                           Is wrong?

Is Jesus a Religion, or a Man?

Did you flinch a little at my title, worried that I would deny the deity of Jesus? 

I think it's curious that in all the scriptures I come across, the writers are most concerned with people denying the humanity of Jesus. When I took a quick look at commentaries about why this was so important, they always talk about it being because Jesus had to be human so he made the perfect sacrifice for our "atonement".  But if Jesus being the atoning sacrifice (to appease God's wrath) is the main point of his death, why can't I even find the word "atonement" in the new testament? (Using the Young's Literal translation--the one scholars say is the most accurate.Yes, Paul talks about Jesus shedding his blood for our sin. But his point is always "we don't need to keep making sacrifices", not "Jesus had to die so that God could forgive us". God was ALWAYS forgiving the Jewish people.) When I wrote to a Jewish priest about sacrifice being to appease the wrath of God (remember...the authors of the new testament all came out of the Jewish faith) he was disgusted.  He wrote me back and emphatically said that was never what sacrifice was about.  When you look at what Christianity was while it was under the leadership of Jews, (in the book of Acts) and what it became when it was under the leadership of people who had come out of pagan religions (where sacrifice was all about appeasing the gods) you see a big difference, don't you? 


It seems to me that for many Christians, it's not about what is being taught as much as who is doing the teaching. So, two people can teach the same principle, (for example, loving others as we love ourselves) but if a Buddhist teaches it, then it's wrong. If a Christian teaches it, then it's right--doesn't matter that they are both saying the same thing.  Seems silly to me...shouldn't the principle be correct regardless of who is teaching it? But because Jesus said, "I AM the way, the truth, and the life", Christian's interpret that as "Christianity is the only true religion", without any regard to the fact that Jesus was speaking about himself, not a religion. And was he meaning to let everyone know that anyone who doesn't follow him in this short lifetime will be lost for all eternity? Does that seem right when Jesus promises to "draw all men" to himself? 


But so many Christians have absolutely no problem believing that a man like Gandhi, who lived out the teachings of Jesus better than many Christians do, is rotting in an eternal hell simply because he didn't believe there correct things. It blows my mind.  Makes me so sad, but all I can do is pray that more and more Christian's will start taking a harder look at the things they believe and why they believe them, and maybe just consider that the religion of Christianity has maybe not understood everything about the way, the truth, and the life of Jesus.

Effort vs Trust

S) What you believe about these things should be kept between you and God.  You are fortunate if your actions don't make you have doubts.  But if you do have doubts about what you eat, you are going against your beliefs.  And you know that is wrong, because anything you do against your beliefs is sin. (Romans 14:22-23)
O) Even though eating meat (sacrificed to idols) is not a sin, it would become one if you did it thinking it was wrong.  Sin is anything that seperates us from God; I think we get messed up when we view sin as just "not following the rules".
A) I know people are going to think I'm sinning because I'm not following the going to church 'rule'.  That might hurt them.  But I really believe that God told me that for the time being, I shouldn't go.  If I went anyway, just to make everyone happy, wouldn't I be sinning--even if my belief is incorrect?
P) Help Lord!  If I have misunderstood your direction, please show me!


This is a journal entry I wrote soon after I left my church.  Looking at it now, I know my concern with 'hurting' people was more just worry over how people would judge me. And as I've come to a place of not caring much what people think, I have to admit a little of that has a 'screw you' attitude in it. (which is never good)  Feeling secure in God's love helps me to see these flaws a little clearer, without beating myself up over them.  I do want it to change, and I pray for change...but there's also a surrender to God in admitting I'm not exactly sure how to change. 


This is one of the big shifts in my thinking, and it's all about the will.  Many times so much of my effort in 'living for Christ' is actuality rooted in self. (will power) This is really a hard concept to convey, but basically my identity in trying to be a 'good Christian', and my efforts in achieving that can be mostly ego centered and not spiritually centered.  But as I begin to understand "it is God who is working in (me) both to will and to work for His good pleasure" (Phil. 2:13), there is more of a letting go in trust that God can change my heart, instead of an effort to obey and earn approval.  Unfortunately, we have been taught it is our will that saves us--because this is the only way to explain why some are and some are not saved.  But if it is our will that achieves our salvation, then it cannot be by grace, in my opinion.  (Salvation meaning our transformation into the image of Christ, not forgiveness so we won't be punished forever. Just want to keep clarifying that)


I exhort, then, first of all, there be made supplications, prayers, intercessions, thanksgivings, for all men: for kings, and all who are in authority, that a quiet and peaceable life we may lead in all piety and gravity...  for this [is] right and acceptable before God our Savior, who doth will all men to be saved, and to come to the full knowledge of the truth;(1 Timothy 2:1-4)


There is a lot of argument over the word "will" in this verse.  Most translate it as "wish", but the better translations use will.  I know there can be confusion over why we need to pray if God's going to just save everyone in the end.  Again, if you think of salvation as going to heaven when you die, then it is confusing.  But if you think of salvation as the restoration of the earth and everything in it including us (God's will to be done on earth as it is in heaven) then the prayers are more like, "I'm on board with this plan, God...I'm excited about you doing this and believe you can and I want to be a part of it" instead of, "please God, do what you can to make so-and-so become a Christian so they won't go to hell when they die." The first prayer is about resting in the confidence that this is God's work and He can do it and only wanting to be involved, the other is about doing our best to help God out with something He can't do, but can only 'wish' for.  Trusting that God can accomplish His will has made all the difference, and has begun in me the change from self effort into total surrender.

Set Free

Coming back to my story...after I could not convince anyone in my church that hell was not eternal, I really did not know what to do.  My husband and I had been attending our church for over 20 years...and not only that, he works there!  I couldn't just stop going, but nothing in me wanted to continue.  My heart was broken.  I kept telling myself I should be fine with others having a different opinion than me, and that it shouldn't affect my 'fellowship'...but I couldn't help it effecting everything.  Because this wasn't just a different opinion--for me it was a complete paradigm shift. 


I prayed and prayed about what to do.  One of my biggest concerns was my husband.  I wanted to be a good wife--a supportive wife--a godly wife.  Good Christian women do not just stop going to church...especially one that their husband works at.  Good Christian women support their men by putting his needs before their own, by making sure the husband knows he's the boss of the family...all of that.  When I shared how unhappy I was at church, my husband never said I had to keep going, but I knew that he would be extremely displeased if I quit.  I had so many conflicting emotions.  It was at this time I came across another life changing book.  First a journal entry from several years prior:


S)  A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.(1 Timothy 2:11-15) 
O) This is one of those passages of scripture I don't think I'll ever get.  It sounds awful!  I once asked a youth leader about it, and he said "Well, Paul didn't like women".  I think Paul was a great respecter of women, and had many very close women friends who were leaders in the ministry.  So obviously it must just be translated badly or we just can't understand the situation he was trying to address.
A)  I certainly cannot get out of this that God made women lesser than men, or that He loves them more.  I do know God honors humility--I can always apply that.
P)  After 2,000 years of nobody quite getting this scripture, it seems arrogant of me to ask you to reveal it to me. But I do ask you to reveal to your followers the true meaning of this scripture.


The book I stumbled across was "The Christian Woman Set Free". http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Woman-Set-Free-Second-Class/dp/0940232251   Once again, I felt God smiling as He answered my questions when I really didn't think there was an answer.  The author (who holds a bachelor's degree in history and a master's in theology) explains not only these troubling verses, but he also tackles 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and Ephesians 5.  (where women are 'commanded' to cover their heads in church and submit to their husbands)  He explains the historical situation these letters were addressing and the history of how it was translated, (badly is an understatement) and he does all of that in a way that is very easy to read and understand.  I was set free!  Not to disrespect and belittle my husband, but to respect myself and trust I could follow the Holy Spirit even if my husband did not understand or agree. I really felt God was leading me to stop attending church...but I was still very afraid and uncertain.  Another scripture I came across at this time gave me courage.  This is a WEIRD one, I have to warn you.


At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met Moses and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,” she said. So the LORD let him alone. (Exodus 4:24)


I bet you didn't even know Moses had a wife!  I didn't.  We know very few women 'heros' of the Bible besides Mary and Esther, but that's not because they are not there.  I had no idea why Zipporah did this or what it meant, but it seemed to me she did something either Moses did not understand he should do, or something he was unwilling to do.  So she did it--and I bet Moses thanked her for it. So I stopped going to church, and I can only hope one day my husband will see and understand it was a good thing, and maybe even thank me for it.